Of Time Lords & Memes
by Veriria
Summary: The Doctor was left alone in the T.A.R.D.I.S. Everyone in the Universe comes to realize, at one point or another, that this is a Very Bad Thing.


**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Clearly, I'm deranged; sadly I do not make money off my sudden meanderings into insanity. Because clearly I'm off my rocker for writing about 11 & Amy. Also – it's been quite literally years since I submitted fan fiction to this website. There is no beta reader yet, so any mistakes are entirely my own.**

The Doctor was alone in the T.A.R.D.I.S.

Everyone in the Universe comes to realize, at one point or another, that this is a Very Bad Thing.

* * *

Amy opened the T.A.R.D.I.S. and shouted "Doctor? Where are you?" She took a cursory look around the console, but did not see the person in question.

The Doctor popped his head around the console and quickly pushed some buttons on the viewing screen, and for a split second Amy thought he looked very much like a naughty child who was caught doing something bad.

Without skipping a beat, the Doctor smiled and held out his arms to Amy. He started to say "Pond! I'm glad you're back, where's Rory? Did you get dressed up just for me? Oh, you shouldn't have! Look lovely, by the way. I wanted to show you the underwater world of-"

But Amy walked up to him at the console and cut him off with a light slap to the chest. "NO, Doctor, I told you - it's mine and Rory's date night. No adventures, no baddies, no getting arrested, no trying to be killed. Normal. Date. Night. You're going to have to entertain yourself for a night. Got that?"

She almost felt bad when the Doctor immediately put on a face like a very put out puppy dog. Almost. "Doctor, we have run so long, we just want a little bit of normalcy," and then rolled her eyes. "And, you know, a little alone time if you know what I mean."

"Ahh..." he said in confusion, then: "Ah-ha! I understand!" said the Doctor and waggled his right index finger in Amy's face. "No problem Pond, I can entertain myself. How long do you think you'll be? Are we talking perhaps an hour or two?"

Amy threw up her hands in exasperation while turning around and walked out of the T.A.R.D.I.S. with a "GoodBYE, Doctor!" thrown over her shoulder for good measure. The Doctor said "Ah, well..." to no one in particular and then walked back to the console's viewing screen.

"I guess it's just you and me, sexy."

* * *

The Doctor walked to the library - he liked to read. He picked out a book at random and walked to his favorite squashy couch in front of the fireplace. The T.A.R.D.I.S. lit a roaring fire while the Doctor settled in. Much like almost every animal in the universe, he had to find the perfect spot & position to be sitting in to ready himself to read. This lasted for a good 5 minutes while he tried every position imaginable.

Finally relaxing upside-down with his feet dangling off of the back edge of the couch normally reserved for heads, he opened the novel to the beginning. The Doctor started twitching his feet in anticipation of a good read. He grabbed the book by its right edge...And literally flipped through the book in under 5 seconds.

"Boring," he said to no one out loud in particular, and tossed the book over the couch.

* * *

"I know!" exclaimed the Doctor, jumping up and pumping both his fists into the air. "I'll make myself some food! If the Ponds are out eating, I'll celebrate with them in my own way!"

As he leisurely strolled towards the entrance of the library, the Doctor was so intent on making fish fingers with custard that he wasn't watching where he was walking.

He promptly tripped over the afore-mentioned book. Muttering "Ooooh, my brains! Well, that's not very smart, leaving a book on the floor..." he picked himself up and dusted his tweed jacket off.

The Doctor straightened his bow-tie, slicked his floppy brown hair back and then pointed his finger into the air with a battle cry: "To the kitchen!"

* * *

The hallway he traveled down through led him to the gymnasium instead of the kitchen. Wondering why the ship led him here instead of the kitchen, the Doctor strode purposefully inside. Perhaps the ship decided she wanted the kitchen in the gymnasium? There have been stranger things before, like the swimming pool in the library. The Doctor shrugged to himself and decided to look around.

Instead of the kitchen, he found dozens of sports items laying haphazardly around the room.

"I've always fancied myself a football player," mused the Doctor. He picked up the sphere and threw it up into the air and caught it as it came down.

"I wonder how many times I can keep it up the air?" The Doctor experimented by bouncing the football on his right knee. It went double his height into the air and flew off in a wild direction.

"Oh, no problem! I'm just a bit off, that was just a fluke. I'm normally wonderful at this sport! Maybe I should take off my jacket" He took his jacket off and shook his entire body, then his head, and sniffed loudly.

He picked up another football off the floor, and started to bounce it on his knee. 1, 2, 3...The Doctor was switching from knee to knee, when the ship lurched slightly beneath his feet. The Doctor tried to wheel his arms about to stop from falling, but it was too late; luckily he bounced off the numerous volleyballs and was not injured.

Thinking there might have been a problem, the Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and took a few readings.

"This is rubbish. I'm watching you, missy!" he exclaimed to the gymnasium's ceiling after having sensed no problems with the ship. His jacket forgotten, the Doctor stalked out into the hallway and chose a direction at random.

* * *

It felt like weeks; well, the Doctor had indeed been wandering around the T.A.R.D.I.S. for several hours without actually having found the kitchens. Just as he decided to abandon his quest and head towards the console room - he got lost again. Apparently his thoughts of crashing his companion's date night did not sit well with his ship.

"Come on, girl, why won't you let me into at least the kitchens? Is there something wrong?" he whispered to the ship, lowering his cheek to the wall and lovingly stroking the ship. He felt a rather odd rumbling while leaning against the hallway, and had the distinct feeling that the T.A.R.D.I.S. was laughing at him.

"Well, if you're going to be like that, I'll just have to find my own way!"

* * *

After rounding the corner, the Doctor encountered Amy & Rory's room. The Doctor put his hand onto the door knob, but hesitated before twisting. Instead, he raised his knuckles to the door and knocked. Thankful that neither of his companions appeared to be back yet, he opened the door and snuck a peek around it.

"Hello? Amy? Rory? Are either of you decent?" the Doctor said while smiling. Receiving no reply, he opened the door fully and took a wide look around the living space.

Amy & Rory had more than a room; the T.A.R.D.I.S. expanded it into several rooms. With his hands now on the lapels of his jacket, the Doctor took a small tour around the living compartment.

The Doctor started in the living room. He noticed a few pictures in frames on the coffee table. Walking over to them, he picked up the largest one and smiled even further. It was of Amy, Rory, and himself, standing in front of a legion of Roman soldiers. There were other, smaller pictures and the Doctor glanced at them all in turn. Setting the large picture down, he glanced into the other rooms. There was a bathroom (boring!), a bedroom (double boring!), and a computer room.

"Oooh, so this is where you hid the computer I soniced, eh, Pond?" The Doctor had asked Amy incessantly about using her new notebook computer, but she staunchly refused to let the Doctor use it. Amy made the excuse that the Doctor would probably break it within a minute of getting his hands on it.

The Doctor nearly skipped with child-like glee over to the simple computer desk. He shook his neck from side to side while simultaneously clasping both his hands together and bending them out, causing all his fingers to crack.

"Now, it's just you and me, internets!" The Doctor hit the power button, and waited impatiently for the laptop to turn on. A few seconds later, a username & password screen popped up. The Doctor drew his lips into a fine line and placed his fists on his hips. The urge to draw his sonic screwdriver out of his breast pocket was very strong; but the Doctor also couldn't resist a good mystery.

The corners of his lips turned up very slightly as he thought he knew what Amy's password was. Using just his index fingers, he typed out the word "RORY".

The Doctor appeared slightly miffed when "INVALID PASSWORD" came up on the screen.

"Right then, no problem; of course our Amy's not so thick as to use her husband's name for her password."

He entered a few more words:

DOCTOR. THE DOCTOR. BOW TIES. MAD MAN. BOX. TARDIS. POLICE BOX. RIVER SONG. GERONIMO. TIMEY WIMEY.

"Nothing's working!" he exclaims as he uses his hands to wipe his face in agitation. With a look of defeat on is face, the Doctor takes his sonic screwdriver out of his-

"I'm not wearing my jacket-!" shouts the Doctor, and flies out of his companion's rooms, retracing his steps back to the gymnasium, his jacket, and his sonic screwdriver.

* * *

A few minutes later saw the Doctor reappear in his companion's rooms after retrieving his jacket and sonic screwdriver, thankfully without incident.

With a gleam in his eye and his tongue sticking out a bit at the corner, he held the sonic up to the computer screen. A moment later, Amy's password appeared on the screen. Before the Doctor could hit "ENTER", he did a double-take at the word.

WEEPING ANGELS

He cocked his head to the left and tapped the fingers of his right hand thoughtfully to his lips, wondering why on earth Amy would choose such a thing as her password.

The somber moment passed, and the Doctor was elated to finally be able to rifle through Amy's computer.

He saw a folder containing lots of digital pictures of Amy, Rory, and himself; along with many other pictures of places & planets they have all visited in their times together. Some pictures were awe-inspiring; others were comical, and yet some were downright ridiculous. The Doctor cringed at some of the more awful pictures of himself.

With another mouse click, the Doctor re-sized the internet browser, which Amy had left open.

Facebook was the first website that was open - and it was still logged in to Amy's account. "Social networks? Phhht," the Doctor said, and then blew a raspberry at the monitor. He had an idea: he typed in a status and hit the submit button and then quickly closed the browser.

The other website was one of those weird websites that allows humans to share pictures.


End file.
